I woke up this morning to Greg tip-toeing into the bedroom and going through my cupboard. “What are you doing in my cupboard?” I asked, still half asleep. “I need hangers for the laundry.” “Oh, are you doing it now?”, “I’m almost done, I just needed some more hangers” :) Now, we’d decided we’d do laundry this evening as we wouldn’t have time between work and tonight (appointments, gym, a friend’s birthday dinner), so I was ready to do it later. When I heard Greg say he’d already done it this morning, well, my heart swelled a little.
I don’t know if you’ve heard of “The 5 Love Languages“, I’m pretty sure it started as a book or something which we were encouraged to read when we went through this pre-marriage counselling (there were no problems, we had to go through a small 4 session course to be married by the Beth Din – they’re like, the Jewish Court. Actually, I think that’s exactly what they are.) Anyway, I digress.
So we never read the book, but I stumbled on the website a while back and for the hell of it during my lunch break took the quiz. The questions felt somewhat repetitive sometimes, and I don’t remember what my exact results were aside for that my dominant “language” was “acts of service”.
It made perfect sense. I don’t feel I need gifts from Greg (that’s not to say they’re not appreciated. When he gave me my bracelet he got for me in Israel on our anniversary, I cried not because of the thoughtfulness of his gift but the lengths he went through to get it for me, and the meaning behind it). I don’t need words of affirmation, and him telling me how beautiful I look every day (he does this, but I’m never quite sure how to handle it or respond). While I do find quality time and physical touch important, I guess it’s acts of service that really make me the happiest.
Helping around the house, doing me a favour, running an errand I’m unable to do myself, helping me with xyz, even just listening to me when I’m freaking out or worrying about something that is possibly unnecessary. These are things that fill me with infinitude gratitude and appreciation. There really are very few people in the world who would have this amount of patience for you. It may have just been laundry, but to me it was something I really appreciated as he didn’t have to do it on his own. He could have watched series while I slept and we’d do it tonight. No, not Greg.
I noticed that an item of clothing I needed for the weekend hadn’t made it in with the load, I said I’ll handwash it tonight. Next thing I know, I’m brushing my teeth and Greg comes into the bathroom – “don’t worry, I’ve washed it for you.”
Big smiles, and so much appreciation and gratefulness for this guy.
(Take the quiz if you’re bored, it’s kind of interesting to know what makes you/your loved one tick, and act appropriately towards them)