I can handle PDA (Public Displays of Affection) in real life and in small innocent doses, but its when its virtual that it just irritates me. In real life I dont have to see you and your mushy tendencies, but on Facebook – I cannot help but see you! Here is a short rant about why I hate virtual PDA so much more than the real thing.
[And for those wondering, this isn’t coming from a place of bitterness and jealousy over other peoples love lives. With a boyfriend of 2 years, I dont have anything to be jealous about.]
Kissing profile pictures: This isn’t just sneaking a quick kiss at the movies, in the mall or on the street – its in your profile picture. It is how you define and showcase yourself online. Everytime you do anything online: we all see you two kissing. My personal opinion is that it comes across as tacky, not as cute, no matter how in love you two are. The worst is when you hold up the camera to take a photo of yourselves kissing, the whole situation is so staged that you are literally taking the photo in order to showcase it! The artistic/just-married/on holiday shots, I can kind of handle. But please, can you keep what you do with each other behind closed doors and as the age old saying goes: Get a room!
Weekly-Monthly Anniversaries: Yes, you love each other so much, and each week and month that goes by is a wonderful blessing. I have no problem with telling each other how much you love each other on memorable occasions. But your monthly, mushy wall posts to each other make me want to vomit. Kick it old school and write each other a meaningful letter, or if it must be on Facebook send it directly to their inbox. Where. None. Of. Us. Can. See.
Pet names: I have come to accept that people have pet names for each other, and this is possibly the worst of all the evils. With Facebook its in our face, its on our newsfeed and everyone reads your mush: My angel, my shnooks, my pookie, my bubba, my pony….
Vomity Wallposts: “Oh my baby, I love you soooo sooooo much! I cant live my life without you! Hope you are having the bestest day ever my baby! Love you xxxxxx mwah mwah mwaaaaah”. –Excuse me while I vomit.
The people who act and speak like this both online and off is one thing, and vomit-worthy as is, but its those who mush out online, and then are perfectly chilled in real life. You do know that people think you’re gross and mushy in real life because of how you portray yourselves on Facebook? Its really confusing. Just saying.
Call me a cynic. Call me a prude. I just feel that some things should still be kept private between two people. On social networks everything becomes public whether you want it to or not. Keep your intimacy for real life, where it counts. Your mushy wall posts explode onto my newsfeed, your kissy profile picture comes up everytime you do anything online so I cant even avoid it without blocking you. Whats killing me is that people can’t distinguish (or dont care to) between a public and private sphere. Although Facebook exists in the privacy of your laptop in your bedroom, or your mobile phone: the nature of a social network that everything you post becomes public for us all to see (unfortunatelly).